Denial

Refusing to accept reality or facts, acting as if a painful event or thought does not exist.

Projection

Attributing one's own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or motives to another person.

Splitting

Seeing people or situations as entirely good or entirely bad, with no middle ground.

Regression

Reverting to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable thoughts or impulses.

Acting Out

Performing an extreme behavior to express thoughts or feelings one feels incapable of otherwise expressing.

Dissociation

Disconnecting from thoughts, feelings, surroundings, or sense of identity as a way to cope with overwhelming experience.

Passive Aggression

Indirectly expressing anger or hostility through subtle, covert behaviors rather than direct confrontation.

Fantasy

Retreating into an imaginary world to escape from reality and unresolved conflicts.

Idealization

Attributing exaggerated positive qualities to another person or situation to avoid anxiety.

Devaluation

Attributing exaggerated negative qualities to another person, often as the flip side of idealization.

Omnipotence

Behaving as if one possesses special powers or abilities superior to others.

Somatization

Converting psychological distress into physical symptoms.

Repression

Unconsciously blocking unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or memories from conscious awareness.

Displacement

Redirecting emotional feelings from the original source to a substitute target.

Rationalization

Creating logical explanations for behaviors or feelings that are actually driven by unconscious motives.

Intellectualization

Focusing on the intellectual aspects of a situation to distance oneself from the emotional content.

Reaction Formation

Converting unwanted or dangerous thoughts into their opposites in behavior.

Undoing

Attempting to reverse or undo a feeling by performing a corrective action.

Isolation of Affect

Separating feelings from ideas and events so the emotional charge is removed from the memory.

Compartmentalization

Allowing conflicting ideas or emotions to coexist by keeping them in separate mental compartments.

Withdrawal

Removing oneself from events or people that might create anxiety or emotional pain.

Sublimation

Channeling unacceptable impulses into socially acceptable activities.

Humor

Using comedy to express feelings or cope with difficult situations without provoking discomfort.

Altruism

Handling internal conflicts by dedicating oneself to meeting the needs of others.

Anticipation

Planning ahead for future inner discomfort by considering realistic solutions.

Suppression

Consciously choosing to set aside a feeling or thought to deal with later.

Compensation

Overachieving in one area to offset real or perceived deficiencies in another.

Identification

Modeling behavior after someone else, especially someone admired or feared.

Affiliation

Turning to others for support and sharing problems without making anyone else responsible for them.

Projective Identification

Projecting an aspect of oneself onto another person and then behaving in ways that pressure them to act it out.

Introjection

Incorporating external attributes, attitudes, or standards into one's own ego structure.

Externalization

Perceiving internal threats as if they are external, attributing inner experiences to outside causes.

Turning Against the Self

Redirecting aggression or negative feelings toward oneself rather than toward the actual source.

Autistic Fantasy

Retreating into daydreaming to resolve conflicts and gratify unmet needs.

Help-Rejecting Complaining

Repeatedly asking for help then rejecting every suggestion offered.

Controlling

Managing or regulating events or objects in the environment to minimize anxiety.

Avoidance

Staying away from people, places, or situations that trigger anxiety or distress.

Emotional Numbing

Shutting down emotional responses to protect against overwhelming experiences.

Selective Attention

Focusing on certain aspects of experience while ignoring others to reduce anxiety.

Situation Selection

Choosing to approach or avoid certain situations based on their likely emotional impact.

Social Withdrawal

Pulling away from social interactions to avoid emotional triggers.

Comfort Seeking

Deliberately placing oneself in situations that provide emotional comfort and safety.

Challenge Seeking

Intentionally choosing emotionally challenging situations for growth.

Situation Modification

Taking active steps to alter a situation to change its emotional impact.

Problem Solving

Taking direct action to change the source of a stressful situation.

Boundary Setting

Establishing clear limits in relationships and situations to protect emotional wellbeing.

Negotiation

Working with others to modify a situation to reduce emotional distress for all parties.

Attentional Deployment

Directing attention toward or away from an emotional situation to influence one's feelings.

Distraction

Shifting attention away from the emotional stimulus to something else.

Rumination

Repetitively and passively focusing on symptoms of distress and their causes and consequences.

Concentration

Deliberately focusing attention on a task to manage emotional intensity.

Mindfulness

Paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance.

Worry

Repetitively thinking about potential future threats, often maintaining anxiety rather than resolving it.

Cognitive Reappraisal

Changing the way one thinks about a situation to alter its emotional impact.

Positive Reframing

Finding the silver lining or growth opportunity in a difficult situation.

Perspective Taking

Viewing a situation from another person's point of view to change one's emotional response.

Acceptance

Acknowledging and accepting emotions as they are without trying to change them.

Self-Compassion

Treating oneself with kindness and understanding during difficult emotional experiences.

Catastrophizing

Imagining the worst possible outcome of a situation, amplifying distress.

Minimization

Downplaying the significance of an event or one's emotional response to it.

Distancing

Creating psychological distance from an emotional event to reduce its intensity.

Meaning Making

Finding purpose, significance, or value in adversity and suffering.

Expressive Suppression

Inhibiting outward emotional expression while the emotion continues internally.

Emotional Expression

Outwardly communicating emotional experiences through words, facial expressions, or behavior.

Deep Breathing

Using controlled breathing patterns to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and reduce stress.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Systematically tensing and relaxing muscle groups to reduce physical tension.

Exercise as Regulation

Using physical activity to modulate emotional intensity and arousal.

Substance Use

Using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to alter emotional states.

Emotional Eating

Using food to soothe, suppress, or manage emotional states.

Self-Harm

Deliberately injuring oneself as a way to cope with or express emotional pain.

Journaling

Writing about emotional experiences to process and understand them.

Creative Expression

Using art, music, writing, or other creative outlets to process and express emotions.

Social Sharing

Talking about emotional experiences with trusted others for support and processing.

Grounding Techniques

Using sensory awareness to anchor oneself in the present moment during emotional overwhelm.

Secure Attachment

A pattern of relating characterized by comfort with intimacy, interdependence, and trust.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

A pattern of relating characterized by desire for closeness, fear of abandonment, and emotional volatility in relationships.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

A pattern of relating characterized by emotional distance, self-reliance, and discomfort with intimacy.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

A pattern of relating characterized by simultaneously desiring and fearing closeness, often resulting in push-pull dynamics.

Disorganized Attachment

A pattern lacking a coherent strategy for relating, often stemming from early trauma or frightening caregiving.

Protest Behavior

Actions taken to reestablish contact with an attachment figure, such as calling repeatedly or acting out.

Deactivating Strategies

Behaviors that suppress the attachment system, such as withdrawing, dismissing needs, or emphasizing independence.

Hyperactivating Strategies

Behaviors that amplify the attachment system, such as clinging, seeking constant reassurance, or monitoring availability.

Secure Base Effect

The sense of safety and confidence that comes from knowing a reliable attachment figure is available.

Proximity Seeking

The drive to move closer to an attachment figure during times of stress or perceived threat.

Separation Anxiety

Distress experienced when separated from or anticipating separation from an attachment figure.

Safe Haven Seeking

Turning to an attachment figure for comfort and soothing during distress.

Internal Working Models

Mental representations of self and others formed through early attachment experiences that guide relationship expectations.

Earned Secure Attachment

Developing secure attachment patterns in adulthood despite insecure early experiences, often through therapy or secure relationships.

Attachment Injury

A violation of trust or abandonment at a critical moment of need that damages the attachment bond.

Codependency

An excessive reliance on a partner for approval, identity, and sense of self.

Counterdependency

An excessive avoidance of dependence on others, masking underlying attachment needs.

Pursuing-Distancing Pattern

A relational dynamic where one partner seeks more closeness while the other pulls away, creating a cycle.

Emotional Availability

The degree to which a person is present, responsive, and attuned to another's emotional needs.

Rupture and Repair

The natural cycle of disconnection and reconnection in relationships, essential for building trust.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Seeing things in black-and-white categories with no middle ground. If performance falls short of perfect, one sees oneself as a total failure.

Overgeneralization

Seeing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat using words like "always" or "never."

Mental Filter

Picking out a single negative detail and dwelling on it exclusively, filtering out all positive aspects.

Disqualifying the Positive

Rejecting positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or another.

Jumping to Conclusions

Making negative interpretations without definite facts to support the conclusion.

Mind Reading

Assuming you know what others are thinking, usually that they are thinking negatively about you.

Fortune Telling

Predicting that things will turn out badly without evidence.

Magnification and Minimization

Exaggerating the importance of negative events or shrinking the importance of positive ones.

Emotional Reasoning

Assuming that negative feelings reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

Should Statements

Motivating oneself with "shoulds" and "musts," creating guilt and frustration when reality falls short.

Labeling

Attaching a fixed, global label to oneself or others instead of describing behavior ("I'm a loser" instead of "I made a mistake").

Personalization

Seeing oneself as the cause of some negative external event for which one was not primarily responsible.

Blaming

Holding other people responsible for one's own emotional pain, or conversely, blaming oneself for every problem.

Fallacy of Fairness

Feeling resentful because one thinks one knows what is fair but others won't agree.

Fallacy of Change

Expecting that other people will change to suit one's needs if one pressures them enough.

Fallacy of Control

Feeling either externally controlled (helpless victim) or internally controlled (responsible for everyone's happiness).

Heaven's Reward Fallacy

Expecting that one's sacrifice and self-denial will eventually be rewarded, and feeling resentful when the reward doesn't come.

Always Being Right

Needing to continually prove that one's opinions and actions are correct, making being wrong unthinkable.

Filtering

Focusing entirely on one detail of a situation (usually negative) to the exclusion of everything else.

Comparative Thinking

Constantly comparing oneself to others, usually unfavorably, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Negativity Bias

Giving more weight to negative experiences and information than to positive ones.

Hindsight Bias

Believing after the fact that one "should have known" the outcome, leading to self-blame.

Confirmation Bias

Seeking and attending to information that confirms existing beliefs while ignoring contradictory evidence.

Spotlight Effect

Overestimating how much others notice and evaluate one's appearance, behavior, or mistakes.

Sunk Cost Fallacy

Continuing a behavior or endeavor because of previously invested resources rather than future value.

Magnification / Minimization

Exaggerating the importance of negative things or shrinking the importance of positive things.

Control Fallacies

Feeling either externally controlled (helpless victim) or internally controlling (responsible for everyone's pain).

Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy and autonomy. Can depend on others and let others depend on them.

Anxious Preoccupied Attachment

Craves closeness but fears rejection. Hypervigilant to signs of abandonment.

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

Values independence highly. Suppresses emotional needs and distances from others.

Fearful Avoidant Attachment

Wants closeness but fears it. Push-pull pattern. Often linked to unresolved trauma.

Cognitive Change

Changing how we think about a situation to alter its emotional impact.

Response Modulation

Influencing the emotional response after it has already been generated.

Ventral Vagal State

The social engagement system. Feeling safe enough to connect, communicate, and be present.

Sympathetic Activation State

The mobilization system. Perceiving danger and preparing to fight or flee.

Dorsal Vagal State

The immobilization system. When fight-or-flight isn't possible, the body shuts down to conserve energy.

Neuroception

The nervous system's unconscious detection of safety or danger — happens below awareness.

Co Regulation

Regulating emotional state through safe connection with another person's nervous system.

Vagal Brake

The ventral vagus acts as a brake on heart rate, allowing flexible engagement and disengagement.

Autonomic Ladder

The hierarchy of nervous system states: ventral vagal (safe) → sympathetic (danger) → dorsal vagal (life threat).

Vagus Nerve Stimulation

Techniques to stimulate the vagus nerve to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote calm.

Nervous System Regulation

Practices for bringing the autonomic nervous system back into a regulated, balanced state.

Somatic Experiencing

A body-oriented therapeutic approach developed by Peter Levine for resolving trauma and stress.

Window of Tolerance

The zone of arousal in which a person can function most effectively, coined by Dan Siegel.

Emotional Flashback

A sudden regression to the emotional state of childhood trauma, often without visual memory — coined by Pete Walker.

Fawning (Trauma Response)

A survival response of excessive people-pleasing to avoid conflict, common in Complex PTSD.

Freeze Response

The involuntary immobilization response to overwhelming threat, distinct from fight or flight.

Hypervigilance

A state of enhanced sensory alertness to potential threats, common in anxiety and PTSD.

People-Pleasing

A pattern of prioritizing others' approval over one's own needs, often rooted in early attachment experiences.

Self-Abandonment

The pattern of neglecting one's own needs, feelings, and boundaries in favor of external validation.

Inner Critic

The internalized critical voice that harshly judges, shames, and undermines self-worth.

Toxic Shame

A pervasive, identity-level sense of being fundamentally flawed or defective, distinct from healthy guilt.

Emotional Numbness

A protective state of reduced emotional responsiveness, often following trauma or chronic stress.

Emotional Exhaustion

A state of emotional depletion from prolonged stress, a core component of burnout.

Catastrophic Thinking

The cognitive pattern of automatically imagining and expecting the worst possible outcome.

Black-and-White Thinking

The tendency to think in absolute, all-or-nothing terms without recognizing nuance or gray areas.